he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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