Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
