11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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