Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
This toilet bowl is my home.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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