Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize