bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
3 2 1 whiskey
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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