I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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