i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Randomize
