There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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