you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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