This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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