why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
