have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
