I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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