She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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