Non-Jews are for practice
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Randomize
