You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
