hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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