I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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