Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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