i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
