Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
