So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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