The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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