Farmville is her only friend.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
