Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
