This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
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