just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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