You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
