I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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