i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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