I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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