In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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