My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
