Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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