Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
sarcasm needs its own font
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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