hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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