You're my little dorito
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
