bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
id be glad to
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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