Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
