Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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