Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
