Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
