Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
