Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
