There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
