don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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