Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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