YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
