This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
