The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
