Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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