idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
