what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
