i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
