The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
