She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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