I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
