It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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