Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
