Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
