so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
